A season

He was with me for a season. Not for a reason, I don't think he taught me anything. I taught him to smile, laugh and be happy again. Most importantly, I taught him to love again. So maybe I should feel happy that I was able to do that for him. Even if he couldn't love me for a lifetime - I should be thankful that I had him for a season.

I am sad that he is no longer in my life but he didn't want what I wanted - marriage and children. I will be ok. I will find someone who loves me for me and wants the same things. But fir now, I wish he would get out of my head because he had his chance and I'm sure he doesn't even think of me.

Alone

I'm so scared of being alone. It's been 12 months since my boyfriend of 5 years and I broke up. In hindsight it was probably for the best but it has been an extremely turbulent twelve months - very tough for me. Life will be much easier if I never see him again or speak to him. I've managed to avoid him for two months so I should be ok.
I just want to meet someone new and move on with life. Move onto the next phase of my life I feel so stagnant. I don't know how to meet people to talk to them. I feel socially retarded. It's like I'm just waiting for someone to fall into my lap and I know they won't. I just feel lost. As if I'm not sure what I want but I better hurry up and work it out because otherwise im going to be left behind cause everyone else has a plan.
Maybe I'm just here to look after everyone else...